Self-Image Repair

I hold up a mirror to myself, a mirror, a metaphorical mirror, a simulated mirror. Who lives there behind those eyes, beneath that mask I wear to shield me from the outside world? Where is my center, my inner self, my identity? What do I see there? A strong and competent man, or a weak and hesitant one, unsure of himself, fumbling, afraid?

Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?

Close your eyes, clench them closed, hard, and look, look inward. Feel the pattern, touch it, imagine the matrix of blinding, blue-white pinpoints burning, burning hotter than the fires of Hell; explore the blazing, erupting cascade of energy, the star cluster at the center of your galaxy, the nucleus at the center of your primeval atom, at your center, at the center of YOU. This is the source, the source of your power, your heat, your light, your radiance, your life energy. This is you.

Guard yourself, ward yourself carefully, protect your innermost core. Keep a balanced perspective, staying aware of your flaws, knowing that these do not make you any the less a good and decent and worthy person. Draw strength from your talents, the things you do well, and extend from there. Build a fortress, a retreat, a quiet space within you, a retreat from the demands and abrasions and impersonal cruelties of a harsh and coldly indifferent world.


How you see yourself <---> How others see you



There is a powerful feedback cycle operating here. If you know yourself (and act accordingly) as a man confident in his strength, a man to be reckoned with, people tune in on this and send back respect, even admiration. Likewise, the feelings of those around you tend to seep into your awareness. All the more reason to keep your private self, your private thoughts and feelings private, not to share with strangers, with people who have not earned your trust. Limit your exposure, your vulnerability to the anxieties, neuroses, prejudices, and manipulations of the world outside yourself.

Create a support system of friends and acquaintances who reassure and validate you. Avoid those who tear you down, the destructive ones, the users, the energy vampires who live off your life-blood. In extreme cases, a change of scenery may be indicated, a new start among people who do not know you from your previous life.


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